I have this thing where I make fun of hipsters. It’s fun. Everyone’s doing it. You should try it sometime.
But, love ’em or hate ’em, you’ve probably secretly wanted to be one at least once. So, while making sure you’re not letting hipsters destroy your life, feel free to follow these easy steps to getting in with this seemingly aloof crowd.
1. Drink coffee properly. ‘Properly’ in hipsterspeak means organic, in a French press, and with no sugar. Ever. How dare you.
2. Wear unique, either super-tight or super-loose, second-hand clothes. If you bought it in a foreign country and in a context of soul-searching or adventure-seeking, you get bonus points.
3. Make sure you know all the popular music of the day, but don’t ever reference the fact that listening to popular music took up any of your time. Know it, don’t show it. Then, you should also get to know some seemingly obscure bands that everyone actually knows. It’s kind of an unspoken community thing. The Hipster Music Index should get you started.
4. This attitude also applies to social media, my favourite ironic hipster trait. You’re going to have to spend many minutes of your day updating and checking all the social networks, but remember, it’s not cool to spend too much time online, so don’t look like you’re trying too hard. There’s a fine line. Make sure that you at least look like you’re doing more cool stuff offline than on, and you should be good to go.
5. Use many hashtags, all of them ironically.
6. Get a hipster haircut. It has the same effect as when ants bump heads with each other and recognise that they’re from the same clan.
7. Never use the word hipster. #breakingalltherules #exceptnumber5
janellethinks 